loving someone despite the moments where they say or do something in-congruent to one's own beliefs, or theirs, because you have seen who they are trying to be. who they are on the journey to becoming. and even loving those moments because they remind us of our own humanity. and their humanity. and therefore humble us. because you know that upon reflection, they were aware of the in-congruence too. the awareness is what's key. without the awareness there is no connection, because it's the ignorance that means you are on different paths. that is what it is to grow with somebody. for even though we keep fucking up every now and then, we are still on the same path. and we recognise that path, instead of judging every step.